Is it worth Crying over

   Nina started a complete new life,it's but human to feel bad about how bad you have screwed up your life.
But shit happens, at the end of the day if you have a Man who loves you immensely and a frend who knows nothing about who you are and still there for you and pushes you to feel happy about the little good things you have in life, then you are one of the lucky people in world.
    
     It's not about how far away you live from each other , it's about how much  you love each other and  how much are willing to work it out in spite of the hardships which  come your way, life is not easy but when you know that there is someone who will love you forever no matter what, you should give it your best shot.

    And it's not about how long you have been friends , my definition of friendship was murdered by my most beloved girls brutally right in front of my eyes.So right now i am trying to go with the flow and cherish the only friend I have.At the age of 28 when you make friends who are almost your age they have seen some life and not everyone is willing  to share everything.Lesson Learnt hard way, somethings must be only sacred to you never trust anyone more than yourself.I won't call it a mistake but I do trust my Man with my eyes closed .

    We have made promises to each other that we will not let each other go.I feel like am home when I am with him , a feeling which I had been missing since 10 yrs, it's not about the place , it's about the person you wanna live with , share the place and life.It's about that feeling of being secure and taken care of.When he is around everything seems just right, i feel that everything will be fine.

   So, after all thisI question myself  is it worth crying, I wud say NO.I started a new life for good and with the perfect man and with The man I am in love with, it's a little disoriented arrangement of living but till the time we are together , nothing matters , all what matters is I love and he loves me.
   

Love & Life

    Love and life are never simple, or shall I say I have never made them look simple to me or the definition of being simple for me was unrealistic.For me Life was suppose to be a place where things don't back fire, any or every decision made was suppose to be right, but it's not true it holds good only in fairy tales and movies.Life is indeed a fairy tale but certainly with not as fancy as i thought it should be.

    Stuff happens and when they happen you need to have courage to deal with them, you cannot just run away and choose the most convenient and easy way out, personal expereince once you choose the easy way it gets way more complicated than it should be.I can go back and say I should have done this, but too late the foot prints are still there, it's not the sand on the beach , every step you take to move forward is like putting your foot on a wet cement , you have very less time to take it back and smudge it, you gotta think twice, ten times infinite times coz that will leave the trail of foot prints to an unknown destination which could be either good or bad and no one to blame except you.No one cares what situation you were in , what emotional condition you were in coz what's done is done, if you end up in a happy place great, but if you screw up, you screw up bigtime coz the trail of footprints will be there reminding you that gurl it was a wrong decision, you could have done better.No matter how hard you are trying now , you can never forget the past you may come over it, make your present a happy place and future even happier.

   All you need to do is make life is simple, think about future and make today a better past for tomorrow.Think but do not fuck your brain,you can find happiness in smallest and tiniest things.You don't have to set major goal you can take it slow, one song at a time.The best part is I have "the Luv of my life" standing by my side.Again it looks complicated , but i don't wanna think about it , i am willing to take the way it comes, some how deep down inside I know or say I do have slightest clue about  possibilities and I wanna believe that I am ready for it , and that's what is making it look simple.

Imperfect Life

        My complaints about life may seem illogical and unreasonable.But I can't help it,I might be the reason but blaming a decision made @ 17,19,21 year old ( who was brutally sentenced by God to be cut out from her roots and be by herself)  cannot be held as a reason for screwing up your entire life. I took a major decision that doesn't mean that life has come to an end.I want a chance to rethink and figure out to make it  better place.Certainly you haven't made it better, infact you have made it worst.and somehow you made me look like a woman who loves money, complaints might have been monitory but the meaning behind it ,is not.I wish I could somehow make you understand.But it's hard.
           
          I had given up the most precious thing in my life to move on.I had paid  a huge cost and i do not want it to get wasted.Nothing is perfect in life I knew who exactly i was until the series  of unforeseen situations had masked my intellect to even think, made me insecure and made me jump to conclusions and pushed me to take decisions.My decisions had been impuslive,emotionally driven and upto a certain extent selfish, but that's who I am.

      My decisions have been directly or indirectly effected other people's life, those other people meant the world to me and yet i never realized that they did.It was my own insecurity which made me push myself to move on and that was the biggest mistake of my life.do I regret it..?? should I regret it..?? I don't know, I have no clue but what i have learnt in past couple of months is people who care for me have overcome my past which had tored their soul apart, but they are still with me and standing by my side for lifetime, that lifetime is undefined but having them in my life must be my driving force and it's time to embrace my imperfect life and bad decisons and horrible past and move on.I need to become that same old person who knew what exactl she wanted, who knew that no one could hurt her until unless she wanted them to.I was living in a shell and allowed people to hurt me , but not any more.